Best Part: Blade's cousin.

Worst Part: Stilted acting.

My Take: I'm having a hard time expressing my complete lack of care for this movie/franchise. I never saw Twilight, but even die-hard fans admitted it sucked (Pun Intended) a fat one. And to be honest, this trailer is so benign that making fun of it feels about as useful as putting a sweater on a Yeti. All I can say is it looks like a stupid film for stupid people. But who knows, maybe the collective intelligence of our entire country will spike and leave the box office lifeless (Pun Intended) come November.

Prediction: 190 million dollars in domestic earnings for Twilight says I'm dead (Pun Intended) wrong.

Best Part: I was going to say that Taylor Lautner looks good as Jacob but then I IMDbed him and found out that he is actually 17 and now I feel pervy. So let's stick with "Robert Pattinson is reprising his role as hot, brooding Edward."

Worst Part: Robert Pattinson apparently still has not gotten acting lessons. It's ok though because (are you sensing a theme here?) he's yummy. Also am slightly worried about how much screen time he's going to get in this movie since **SPOILER ALERT** he actually isn't in New Moon that much until towards the end. Clearly the amount of time I get to drool over Robert Pattinson is more important to me than any other aspect of the movie (Dialogue? Psh. Pacing? Psh.)

My Take: Okay, so Twilight wasn't the greatest, I will admit that. And okay, so there was definite room for improvement in the form of acting workshops and such-- but that disappointment still won't prevent me from going to see New Moon. It's not my favorite out of the four books, but the teaser trailer did just what it was supposed to, make me interested enough to wait for the full-length trailer. Here's to hoping there are more Jasper shots in the full-length trailer...

Prediction: As we draw closer to the premiere I most likely will do the following:

A. Get into at least one argument about whether or not Jacob is annoying (Team Jacob!) with a fellow Twilighter (I'm looking at you, Liz).

B. Send out at least 15 "New Moon Update" emails to my long-suffering friends.

C. Spend at least 5 hours trying to figure out if Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are dating. And secretly wishing that they were.

Best Part: If you saw the premiere for the trailer during the MTV movie awards (don’t judge I was bored) not even the actors take this movie seriously. Their excitement level was a 1.5 out of 10, which on the excitement scale is equivalent to going to your mother’s unveiling.

Worst Part: Sure the acting is bad, but that was expected. What I did not expect was to see some of the crappiest looking CGI this side of 1998. That wolf looked like it was made by the same guy who does the Nasonex commercials (the one with the shitty looking bee that does an Antonio Banderas impression). You think for a multi-million dollar franchise they could get some better animators.

My Take: This movie has been rushed into production because the Hollywood big wigs are concerned that this Twilight fad is going to pass before they can pump it for all its worth and it shows. Bad acting, bad directing, bad effects but it doesn’t even matter because Twilight fans (who really should not be over the age of 14) are rabid and will go see anything committed to screen no matter how horrible it may be. But enough about this trailer (in short: it sucks) let’s talk about Kristin Stewart. While watching the MTV movie awards I quickly realized that I had found the most awkward person to ever grace this planet. I am actually impressed at her acting skills in Twilight because she can barely speak in real life. She has major issues formulating cohesive thoughts or sentences even when they are given to her on the teleprompter. When they handed her the award for Best Female Breakthrough Performance (really?) she fumbled around with not only her words but the award and she ended up dropping it. Who in the hell would cast this person in any thing that requires speaking or living for that matter? Ridiculous.

Prediction: Sadly I saw the first movie and since I am dating a Twilight fiend (even though she hated the first one and thought this trailer looked like garbage) I will probably end up going with her to see New f@$#ing Moon.